getting help...

To find a rape crisis center near you, contact Rape Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) at 1-800-656-HOPE or go to www.rainn.org. RAINN can link you to a Rape Crisis Center near you and provide a complete listing of state coalitions against sexual violence.

what to do...

after the rape

1. Go to a safe place and call someone you trust. Or, contact your local rape crisis center for help and support. If you need the number to the rape crisis center nearest you, call RAINN (Rape Abuse and Incest National Network) at 1-800-656-HOPE, or visit their website at www.RAINN.org

2. Seek medical attention. Go to a hospital, doctor, or clinic as soon as possible. If you plan to report the rape to the police, do not shower, brush your teeth, douche, or change your clothes because you could destroy evidence.

3. Report the rape to the police if you feel this is the right option for you.

4. Talk to people you trust and feel comfortable with—people that won’t blame you or question you (i.e. friends, family, counselors, teachers, victim advocates, etc). The more support you have the less alone you will feel.

5. This may sound crazy, but it works…exercise and drink plenty of water. Stress awareness professionals say that exercise and drinking a lot of water within the first two days after the rape can flush out bad chemicals that are present in your body after the trauma.

6. Write about the rape in a journal. Writing about the rape for yourself and no one else to see may help you work through some of the pain you may be experiencing.

7. If you live alone, try to stay with someone you trust for a few days or have someone you trust stay with you.

8. If the rapist is someone you know and see a lot (like at school or at work), try to have your friends accompany you at times when you might encounter the rapist. Even though it’s not fair, sometimes the best decision may be to leave the environment temporarily or permanently so you can feel safer. It’s okay to do that. It doesn’t mean you’re letting the rapist "win." It means that you’re taking control and protecting yourself.

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feelings

If you have been sexually assaulted, you may feel very frightened. You have been through something you may have never thought would happen to you or that only happens to other people. During the weeks after being sexually assaulted, your feelings and thoughts may change and may be different from what they normally have been. Even though this may be difficult to accept, know that these feelings and emotions are normal for a person who has gone through a crisis. In time these feelings will fade away.

There are many feelings you may express that others have experienced, too. These feelings may include:

• alone

• dirty

• unclean

• anger

• helplessness

• depression

You may have problems eating or sleeping. You might feel like you have little or no energy. It’s normal to feel confused or out of control when dealing with these raw emotions. During this stressful period, make sure you take care of yourself.

It is important to talk about your feelings and what you may be experiencing. While it may be difficult for you to talk about the assault, it is usually better to get your emotions out in the open instead of keeping them all bottled up. You can talk to a parent, friend, family member, or an advocate who has experience helping people who have been raped. Although it may be scary to talk with someone, you should always remember that you are not to blame for what happened. Rape is never the victim’s fault. It’s never a bad time to ask for help.

Let people know what they can do to help you during your recovery time. This may be something as simple as asking them to be there for you when you’re having a difficult day. You do not have to go through this alone!

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legal options

If you have been sexually assaulted, deciding whether or not to report the rape to police may be one of the most difficult decisions you make. Remember, the choice belongs to you. The more information you have about what happens if you report, the easier it will be for you to make this decision. Talk to people you trust that can help you make this decision. Victim advocates may be very helpful to you in providing insight and information as well as much needed support. Contact your local rape crisis center to find out if they have victim advocates.

If you choose to report, you will need to tell your story several times. Generally, you will tell your story to the patrol officer that first takes the report, then a detective, and then a prosecuting attorney. If there is enough evidence for your case to be prosecuted, it may go to trial. If your case goes to trial, you may need to share what you’ve been through in the courtroom. It can take from several months to over a year for a case to go to trial. If the rapist is not caught right away, there is always a hope that the rapist might be caught at a later time. Even if the offender is brought to trial, it is not ensured that the offender will go to jail. It is very important that you have a lot of support during this time from family, friends, counselors, and/or advocates. Some victim advocates can be there for you throughout this entire process.

You also have the option of filing a civil lawsuit against the rapist. A civil lawsuit is different from a criminal lawsuit because it involves collecting money for any damages that result from the crime. It doesn’t involve putting a rapist in jail.

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medical

It is important that you get medical care even if you don’t think you are injured. Often people that are raped are in a state of shock and don’t know that they are injured. Even if you are not physically injured, there are other reasons to get medical help. You can get drugs to reduce the risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s) if you get medical help within 72 hours (3 days) of the rape. If it has been longer than 72 hours you need to get checked out to make sure you haven’t caught any diseases or become pregnant.

You may be worried about HIV/ AIDS. Contact your nearest rape crisis center to find out if they do free, confidential HIV testing or if they know of a place that does. If you have caught a disease or have become pregnant, the sooner you find out the better because you will have more options and can prevent yourself from having any long-term damage to your body. If you want more information about pregnancy or STD’s visit www.facesteenclinic.com

• where you can get medical help… You can get medical help at your local rape crisis center (usually only if you have reported the rape to the police within 72 hours). If you do not want to report to the police you can get medical help at hospitals, Planned Parenthood locations, your own doctor, and other health clinics. Some of these services are free to teens or provided at a low cost. If you’re worried about other people finding out, call first and ask them if their services are confidential for teens.

• what to expect… If you decide to report the rape to the police, you will be asked to have a "forensic exam" within 72 hours. This kind of exam is done to try to collect physical evidence that may be helpful in proving the rapist is guilty. This evidence may be used in court.

If possible, don’t shower or change your clothes before the exam. If the rape involved oral sex try not to eat or drink anything before the exam.

 

When you get to the place you are having your exam (usually a hospital or other medical facility) you will talk to a nurse, and she will ask you some questions about the rape. If you have questions about the exam, this is a good time to ask. The exam will be done by a doctor and nurse or a sexual assault nurse examiner. They will ask you questions about your health and the rape. This will help them know what to look for during the exam. They may take photographs of your bruises or injuries if there are any. Then they will do a medical exam to collect the evidence. The exam will include a pelvic exam (this is like an exam by a gynecologist), blood and urine samples, and combing your pubic hair. If at any time during the exam you want them to stop, tell them. Remember, you do not have to have the exam. While the chances that the rapist will go to jail may not be as good, it is important that you don’t feel forced to have the exam. If you want to know what the examiner is doing to you and why they are doing it, ask them to explain it to you. You have a right to know…it’s your body.

Many cities have victim advocates that can be with you during this time. They can explain to you why each thing is happening. If you think it would help you to have a victim advocate, ask for one.

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